Monday Musings... What a difference a year makes!

Last year.

This month last year, we found out we were having a boy. So exciting!

Last year.

This month last year, we were deep into one of the hottest summers on record for Texas. I was getting big, starting to waddle and was very hot and very tired. I'd do it again to get this end result... 

This year. On the go baby!

Keeping up with this little guy is a challenge, but worth every second!

She stopped me in my tracks today...

Admittedly in the recent weeks, I have let the circumstances in my surroundings steal my joy. God chooses to bring messages in many different ways.

In the midst of running around today, to the school my 9 year olds recorder concert, to the Vitamin Shoppe, the dry cleaners, the drive through for lunch, I sat on the floor in my living room nursing my baby boy and turned on the mid morning news. The last story on the newscast was about a family choosing joy in the midst of grief.

A baby girl named Avery Canahuati stopped me in my tracks today. Here is a link to the story I saw. I sat nursing my perfectly healthy baby boy with tears pouring down my face. Avery's parents are beautiful, amazing people who are making a choice to make the very best of their baby's life for whatever time they have her with them here on earth.

At one point in the interview her mother says this... “Mike always told me we’ve got all the time in the world to cry,” said Laura. “We can cry, you know, when she’s no longer here. But for now we want to enjoy the time we do have with her and just make memories.” I know they are putting her story out there to raise awareness of spinal muscular atrophy, SMA Type 1. But the message they are sending in addition is a much, much bigger and powerful one. We can choose how we spend our days with our loved ones.

Life is so very precious and fleeting. In the final days I spent with my mom before she passed away I sat in the presence of a woman who had had her share of pain in her life, both physical and emotional and all of that falls away when you are left with precious little time with the people you love. My parents had been divorced 5 years before Mom died. Dad visited her a few days before my final visit. All the blame and pent up anger fell away in that visit and it seems as if the two of them put things to rest and all that remained was sweet, sweet love.

The Canahuatis realize what is important in the here and now is to love Avery like nobody's business. And they are doing it with all of their might. I took a lesson from them today and hugged each of my precious ones close, for I have taken them for granted. I'd like this beautiful family to know that I am sending prayers for Avery, their strength and peace on this journey they are on, and a hope that a cure may be found soon.

Please visit Avery's precious blog at Avery's Bucket List and like her page on Facebook. Help her parents spread the word about spinal muscular atrophy and learn a little about choosing joy at the same time.

Baby boy is here!

Just dropping in to announce that my little boy Kyle made his entrance into this world a little early on September 27th at about 35-1/2 weeks. He weighed 5 lbs. 13 oz. and was 19-1/2 in. long. He spent a bit of time in NICU and is home on an apnea monitor now. We have had no apnea episodes and his is gaining his weight as he should. There are a couple of concerns with his heart, but hopefully they should be minor or not at all after we visit a pediatric cardiologist later this week.

I am completely and utterly in love with this little tiny guy!

Lord, please help me to live fully in each moment with the precious gifts you have given me. All three of them... Katie, Nikki and Kyle.

"Godspeed Little Man"

 Goodspeed little man! We can't wait to meet you!  2-3 more weeks and you will be in our arms precious boy!

More decoupage wood letters for a baby boy...

So, I've been nesting and decorating preparing for Baby J.

Last week, I made his name for the wall in his room. It has been quite interesting moving from all things girl to doing crafts for a little boy. But I'm starting to catch on and really enjoy it. I can't wait to meet little man, this is for sure.

Making these letters is very simple. If you would like to make your own see my tutorial here.

Participating here:

26 weeks: A letter to my little boy....

Wow, to type it out, or say it out loud... "my little boy".... wow!

(25 weeks... looking as tired as I feel! :) )

We are now at 26 weeks although your mommy looks and feels more like 36 weeks. We are on the downhill slide and I am finally looking at purchasing your layette. We have your new travel system and play yard (complete with a changing table and hamper so you and I can take care of business in the living room instead of running all over the house while I am recuperating from the c-section) and I ordered some sweet cradle bedding for your cradle when you come home.

Daddy is beside himself with excitement and is amazed at your strength. You can get my belly moving and it fascinates every single one of us. One of our new favorite pass times is to put the t.v. remote on my belly and watch you move it with your little kicks. At a recent doctor's visit, I found that you were head down (I know this will change a few more times) and I questioned if that were so, why did it feel like someone was stomping on my bladder. Reason... your little fists were in front of your face. Apparently, you were using my bladder as a punching bag!

Your sisters are having fun helping me pick out items you will need. They love to pick out outfits and ask me questions about you all the time. They already love you and pray for you at night before they go to sleep.

With this pregnancy, I have become rather large, rather fast and I get bunches of double takes when I go out in public. "When is your baby due?" "October." "Really?!" (Which is usually replied with eyes as big as saucers.) I haven't had much energy this time around and it continues to dwindle as I haven't been sleeping well. I am already the weight I was when I had Katie and it is getting increasingly difficult to bend over and pick things up. It was rather amusing the other night when I was buttering a nice piece of corn on the cob and dropped it. I watched as it rolled down my tummy and onto the kitchen floor. Katie was sitting next to me and looking down at it she said, "You want me to get that for you don't you?" I don't know what I would do without your big sisters to come to my rescue!

Because of our little scare back at 11 weeks and because of this being my third c-section with a chance of a uteran rupture on the second one I had (doc says he doubled that area last time) I have had more fear and worry with you than with your sisters. I discussed a c-section at 37 weeks (as soon as we know your lungs are fully developed) to keep me from going into labor this time. When I wake at night and my mind starts to wander on all the things that could go wrong. I remember that God is in control and he has, as your big sister Katie likes to say "very BIG hands!" And I picture you safe in my arms. I know for a fact, all of this will be worth it in the end.

I cannot wait to meet you my precious boy.

Love, Mom

20 week ultrasound of you (we will do this again at 29 weeks)

Back to report....

It's official! We are expecting a boy! :)

ICAD #3 Girl or Boy?

We are not ones to wait for the surprise. We are planners. Today, we will find out if this little one is a girl or a boy.

Votes among the family:

Katie (8): Girl

Nikki (5): Boy

Mommy: A healthy baby

Daddy: A healthy baby (but secretly he wants a boy)

Somebody will be disappointed today, and it better not be me! ;)

What's your vote?

An update...

So... way back at 9 weeks I announced we are pregnant. Here is your update with an explanation as to where I have been.

At 11 weeks. We had a little scare and I ended up in the ER for 4 hours. After which I was put on bed rest for 2-1/2 weeks. At 14 weeks (just this past week) I was released from bed rest and can now do light cooking and cleaning.

Here is what I learned during my time away...

• I have wonderful friends! These friends brought food, straightened my kitchen, did my laundry and grocery shopping, drove my children to activities, and were with me in the ER and during Dr. visits when Chuck couldn't be there. Most important of all, they prayed for Baby J and I. Thank you to my friends!

• I am thankful for my sister and my dad. Who checked in on me every day to make sure I was okay. Thank you Mika and Daddy!

• It's hard to surrender control of my household and family. I have learned that I have difficulty accepting help. Who is really in control anyway. Only God. Obviously I should have learned by now that life can change without a moment's notice. Now each day, I will work on giving it up and just doing what I can. Which isn't much right now.

• Bed rest simply isn't fun. Now that I have experienced it for myself, I will know better how to help someone else in the future. The best thing to brighten someone's day who is on bed rest is to show up, visit, bring them some flowers and spend time with them. It can get really lonely and there is only so much daytime t.v. one can stand. I won't be asking what I can do for someone, I will be telling them what I will do. The people who did this for me were my life savers. Because, I wouldn't ask, but I definitely wouldn't say no if they offered! :)

So, all the t.v. time, the tears, the frustrations, the messy house and learning to surrender is worth it for this...

Baby J (12 weeks)

a perfect profile, a cute little wave and the sound of a beautiful heartbeat. It's all good!

Sharing some big huge news!

On January 19, 2011 I celebrated my 40th birthday.

On February 15th, 2011 I ordered my first bifocals (eek!)

On February 17th, 2011 I took a pregnancy test that turned out positive!!!!! (triple eek!)

My "babies" are now 8 and 5. We have been trying for about a year and I had finally decided that I was just fine with 2 children. My body was in pretty good shape for 40 and I had been planning a creative career with my extra time and energy. Well, so long extra time and energy! Our lives are about to be rocked and our family altered in such a beautiful way. The girls are thrilled with being big sisters. Especially my little Nikki.

I have felt stifled not blogging and so I decided I'll just share and move forward. I am looking forward to the creativity this little one will spur me on to!

I am missing Mama more than ever. I would give anything to call and share with her!

I am 9 weeks today and I saw Baby J's beautiful heartbeat on the ultrasound monitor this morning. While I know this is really early to be broadcasting it to the world, I also know that life is full of beginnings and endings and if God was to change the plans for this baby I would share it with you just as I shared the loss of my mother. Life is also full of celebration and I hope you will take this journey with me.