She stopped me in my tracks today...

Admittedly in the recent weeks, I have let the circumstances in my surroundings steal my joy. God chooses to bring messages in many different ways.

In the midst of running around today, to the school my 9 year olds recorder concert, to the Vitamin Shoppe, the dry cleaners, the drive through for lunch, I sat on the floor in my living room nursing my baby boy and turned on the mid morning news. The last story on the newscast was about a family choosing joy in the midst of grief.

A baby girl named Avery Canahuati stopped me in my tracks today. Here is a link to the story I saw. I sat nursing my perfectly healthy baby boy with tears pouring down my face. Avery's parents are beautiful, amazing people who are making a choice to make the very best of their baby's life for whatever time they have her with them here on earth.

At one point in the interview her mother says this... “Mike always told me we’ve got all the time in the world to cry,” said Laura. “We can cry, you know, when she’s no longer here. But for now we want to enjoy the time we do have with her and just make memories.” I know they are putting her story out there to raise awareness of spinal muscular atrophy, SMA Type 1. But the message they are sending in addition is a much, much bigger and powerful one. We can choose how we spend our days with our loved ones.

Life is so very precious and fleeting. In the final days I spent with my mom before she passed away I sat in the presence of a woman who had had her share of pain in her life, both physical and emotional and all of that falls away when you are left with precious little time with the people you love. My parents had been divorced 5 years before Mom died. Dad visited her a few days before my final visit. All the blame and pent up anger fell away in that visit and it seems as if the two of them put things to rest and all that remained was sweet, sweet love.

The Canahuatis realize what is important in the here and now is to love Avery like nobody's business. And they are doing it with all of their might. I took a lesson from them today and hugged each of my precious ones close, for I have taken them for granted. I'd like this beautiful family to know that I am sending prayers for Avery, their strength and peace on this journey they are on, and a hope that a cure may be found soon.

Please visit Avery's precious blog at Avery's Bucket List and like her page on Facebook. Help her parents spread the word about spinal muscular atrophy and learn a little about choosing joy at the same time.

On a journey to change...

I learned something new this week. It is something that I have known deep inside, but need to be reminded of over and over until I really "get it".

Without going into the very details, I will invite you to share on my journey of realizing that I have the power to choose what I believe about myself and the world I live in. The power to choose spiritually, mentally and physically how I will move about in this world.

I have the power to love people right where they are in their journey, even if I don't agree with what they believe. I am hoping they have the power to love me where I am in mine even if they don't agree. I am starting with me.

What I am reading now...

The Courage to Change by Marilyn Gustin. You are welcome to investigate what the book is about by clicking on the above image. I am reminded that not everyone's journey is the same just by reading the three reviews about the book.

Knowing how to choose is one of heaven's greatest gifts.

~Baltasar Gracian

A "trashy" post... my Mom would have cried with me, then she would have dug in...

First, let me put a disclaimer on this post. I am well aware our recycling habits are not up to par. Please don't comment on them as that is not the point of this post. I also know that this picture is blurry because, let's face it I only took the time to take one quick picture. Trash is not very pretty subject matter! :)

The above picture is 2 bags of 4 day old trash dumped in a pile on my driveway. Why is it on my driveway you would ask? Well to make a long story short, I lost my beloved Mom's silver ring. I know you understand how very much this ring means to me if you read this post right here. She wore it nearly every day for 30 years and I have worn it nearly every day in the past year since I have received it. I, to say the least, was beside myself that it was missing.

After turning my house upside down on Saturday. I would not let my husband put the trash out at the curb until I went through it one last time. If I didn't I would always wonder if the trash was where the ring was. I put this smelly, gross job off for a couple of days because one - I was hoping the ring would show up before I had to do it, two - it's freaking cold outside, so I was waiting for the warmest part of the day (which happened to be 48 degrees) and three I had the sinking feeling it wasn't in there.

As I processed through all this. I began to picture my Mom with me and what she would say and do if she were here. Very simple, she would have hugged and commiserated with me, then she would have rolled up her sleeves and started digging. We would have had giggles at being reduced to looking for a ring in 4 day old trash. So I pictured Mom, watching me as I dug through this pile and I was okay with it. Okay with the trash and finally okay with the fact that the ring I cherished so much wasn't in that pile.

About 20 minutes after I finished my task, I met my daughters' bus. As Katie (my 7 year old) and I walked into the house I told her about my trash digging and that Nana's ring is still missing. Then I said, "But Nana left us so many gifts that cannot be lost." Without missing a beat, my wise one said...

"Love."

 

P.S. I'd like to thank my friend Chris publicly for loving me so much that she would offer to come over and dig through 4 day old trash with me (just like my Mama would have done). I love you my friend!

My thoughts on LOVE

I haven't got a mushy, romantic husband. It is difficult, because I am a romantic person. But, I know he loves me because...

He cried at our wedding and I told the deacon to wait while I dried his tear with a tissue (causing other people in the chapel to cry too). With my recent jaw surgery he was by my side wiping tears that fell on my swollen cheeks while I slept in ICU. He has sat next to me numerous times while I sobbed about losing Mom just resting his hand on my back because he knew there were no words that would comfort me. He is out of town for the day. So, I am pondering what true love is for me. It isn't the flowers or the candy or jewelry (though the surprise and thought are nice), it is the everyday deep love we show for one another.

My daughters and I will go to church, have a fun valentine breakfast and just hang out today. Love is about that isn't it? Spending time together, hugs and kisses, a sweet smile...

I wanted to share a post from my other blog, Misc. and Etc. Misc. and Etc. is sort of my sounding board. My spiritual walk is there too. The below post was written right after my Mom passed away.

One friend calls them kisses, one calls them blue flowers (great story to go along with this one). Doesn't matter what you call them they are the little signs from God that He is watching over us.



Earlier this week, my mother's best friend of 33 years called me. She visited my Mom just 3 weeks before she passed. Her name is Susan. Susan told me that my Mom told her she only had 2 wishes before she died. One was to see my father one last time. (They have been divorced for about 5 years.) The other was to see her 3 kids together one last time, which she also added that she was sure she would not see this wish come true.


The day after Susan left, my Daddy arrived (wish #1 come true). He spent about 5 days with my Mom. They talked and were able to resolve a lot. In the end there was only sweet, sweet love between them. While Daddy was there, my brother in law gave my sister 3 dozen red roses for their anniversary. My Dad cut one and took it in a small vase with some water in to my Mom. Two weeks later I was visiting and the rose was still there in perfect condition. My sister's bouquets had long since wilted as well as an arrangement I had sent my Mom earlier in the week. The day my Mom passed, the rose was still in almost pristine condition - a true testiment to love. When the mortuary took my Mom, my sister laid the rose on her chest. A kiss, a blue flower, a blessing from God.


I arrived at my Mom's bedside 5 days before she passed. The day after I arrived wish #2 came true. My brother was at a funeral service in Vegas. Something in the service struck a chord with him and he told his wife he thought he needed to see Mom. They were already half way to Phoenix and without an overnight bag they showed up at my sister's. I told him we had been waiting for our missing link to arrive, but didn't want to pressure him. Words cannot express how wonderful it was to see my Mama's beautiful smile as her 3 grown children stood at the foot of her bed. A kiss, a blue flower, a blessing from God.


In the midst of all the heartache. These blessings are what I cling to. God has been here all along watching over us. I take great comfort in that! :)

And so, if you don't have a husband or significant other that showers you with romance. Remember what true love is. It's not just romantic love, it is the everyday deep love that we all share with one another.

Have a Happy Valentine's Day with all of your loved ones. Time is precious and sweet.